So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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