I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
