You're so nebulous sometimes
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
