Christians are straight up FREAKS
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
