Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My room smells like vodka and shame
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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