She said her name was "party"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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