We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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