I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
