Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
