Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My balls are so social today.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
