is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
smell my finger.
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Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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