if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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