what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
