he wants to bone in the snuggie
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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