Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
