One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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