People in love make me want to vomit
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
