my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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