I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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