I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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