Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
