i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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