I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
