but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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