i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
