i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think my moral compass just broke
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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