So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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