he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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