they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's the barista slut.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
