Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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