dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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