what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
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I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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