carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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