Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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