The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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