you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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