Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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