who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
