I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
