I need help removing her.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.