Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.