Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
