Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
