I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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