Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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