Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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