Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
its liver damage thursday
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