D3 body, D1 cock
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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