The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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