you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
