i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
