just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
