I wish i was in the wii world.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
