But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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