dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
