my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
