I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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