my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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