Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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