forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
