I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
