chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My pussy is not your playground.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
